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October 05 2017

06:58
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thebookbeard:

I am and have been all three of these kids.

04:40

assubtleasasplinter:

skippercifer:

skippercifer:

skippercifer:

skippercifer:

skippercifer:

skippercifer:

A really harrowed-looking man who was probably in his 60s came into the shop today. He was wearing a gold-colored tie that kept sliding down the side of his neck because it was tied very poorly, and a rumpled light blue dress shirt. I did not see his legs or shoes. Part-time cashiers are sometimes just not afforded the luxury.

We said hello to each other as I scanned his items (diet coke and a nature valley granola bar- $2.69), me sounding more interested than usual just because he sounded so out-of breath and very engaged in his purchase. Also maybe because I could not see his shoes.

“How’s your life going?” He suddenly asked, swiping his card, not casually but almost pleadingly curious.

“Uhm, all right I s’pose” I said, too startled to think of a more cheery lie. 

He nodded somberly. “Me too… I guess.” He paused and looked at me for a minute and then just said “it’s a Monday, ya know.”

“Mondays are like this sometimes” I supplied, feeling like we were having a really weird conversation hidden under the one that was actually taking place.

And then he left. I forgot to look at his shoes.

PART II 

Honestly I had no idea that I would ever have the privilege of writing a sequel to this post. I considered it an odd moment, an interaction that changed me in a way, but a fleeting one. I automatically assumed our paths would never cross again, there was such a finality to that window of time on Monday August 22nd of 2016. And yet.

He returned.

I didn’t truly notice him come in, glancing up from whatever menial and already forgotten task I was busy with, but not registering who it was or why he seemed to put out an aura of familiarity. It had been weeks and I haven’t even caught a glimpse of him; the memory of Monday August 22nd of 2016 had faded like a dream. But lo he appeared before me, dressed in exactly the same fashion that made him look like he had just crawled out of carwash (albeit with a pink shirt and purple tie this go-around.)

His face lit up when he saw me, again holding a diet coke and a nature valley granola bar. ‘How is your day going?’ He asked earnestly.

‘Pretty well.’ I said, professionally containing myself, “how are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good” he said, sounding more cheerful than before but just as harried. When I handed him back his change and items and he looked like he was going to cry. 

“Thank you” he whispered with a look of reverence I have only seen on the faces of ancient church members receiving the eucharist.

“It’s no trouble,” I promised, trying not to look perplexed.

He bowed (LITERALLY BOWED) and then made a hurried exit stage left, reminiscent of Lear just before the second act, halfway into madness.

A Lear I had again forgotten to note the footwear of.

PART. 3. 

Okay I’m not even bothering with the pretentious Hemingway style for this one; I’m still reeling over the fact that he came back after four months AND on a Friday instead of a Monday no less.

Notes:

  • He was wearing literally the exact same shirt and tie he had on from part one, only with an orange sweater and fancy jacket over the ensemble to indicate that it was winter
  • He bought Lay’s sour cream and onion potato chips this time instead of his standard granola bar, but the diet coke was as usual
  • He told me that he always felt guilty for buying snack food but ‘you have to do what you have to do’
  • He then smiled sadly at me and said ‘enjoy your weekend… If you can.’
  • I sat in stunned, unblinking silence for about six minutes until a customer came up and looked me over worriedly
  • Who is this man
  • WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING TO LOOK AT HIS SHOES

Part Four

First thing’s first,

image

Probably about two years of wear on them but otherwise well cared for. Socks were white, which I was only able to notice because this human being has zero clothes that fit and his pant cuffs were hovering about 3 inches away from his shoes. I keep thinking his outfits can’t possibly get any better, but this one takes the cake:

Crumpled white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, gigantic scarf that looked as though it were made out of mouldy carpet, neon orange striped tie, and a matching neon orange plastic digital watch that probably came out of a box of honeycombs back in 1988.

He did not grace me with his odd conversational charm today, but I received something better. A clue. 

Today he was buying a red notebook and three ballpoint pens instead of snacks (which was questionable but this is a Thursday we’re talking about; the day that falls on the chaotic spectrum and which I am known for my overzealous distrust of), and when he pulled out his luxury black Mastercard to pay for his items he said eight words which shook me to my very core.

“I do get a staff discount on these.”

This has never come up before because discount plans don’t apply to food items. I have no need to ask the identity of a man buying a granola bar and a diet coke. But now.

I didn’t speak as I handed him his receipt, just nodded courteously. Only staff members know about the specific discount so I had no real need to ask for an ID for proof, and I was cursing my mistake in not asking for it anyway. 

I must find this man. I have been here for three years and yet have only seen him within the confines of the store at odd intervals. I’ve never even seen him step into the store, or leave (another customer is somehow always in line behind him and demanding my attention.) I spent half an hour going through the college’s entire staff directory this afternoon… and may have found something. I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, I am not yet certain and will have to gather a few more items of information, but for the first time I can promise a part to follow. Perhaps, an ending.

Cinq

Not an ending of any sort, but a very brief update from the field. My work schedule has changed since January and I was honestly beginning to wonder if I wouldn’t see the man again until the fall, as it’s been more than two months now. He startled me quite a bit when he literally blew in as if by a gust of wind right as my shift was ending. 

He was in quite a hurry and only bought a diet coke ($1.50) before blustering(?) off, giving me no chance to run an investigation or perception check, but if fashion checks were a thing…

Please imagine, if you will, a man wearing a yellow polka-dot tie that was not even tied, an orange scarf, the watch mentioned in my previous entry, khakis, a bright periwinkle shirt… and an impeccably matching woolen periwinkle cape. He was also carrying a very large black satchel with tartan lining, every single pocket of which was unzipped.

He looked like a hedge wizard.

I want answers.

6.

I found him.

  • Masters in theology from Harvard 
  • Distinguished professor of philosophy
  • God-tier identification photo; I cannot believe that I have not been hallucinating this man for the past 12 months and 41 days.
image

This was an adventure from start to finish.

04:30

doriangraysghost:

Me on September 30: *sleeping*

Me on October 1: *spooky scary skeleton plays on repeat and I wake up in a cold sweat* godammit they’re COMING

04:30

brawltogethernow:

surprisekitty:

I love fanfics where they hate each other so much and they spend all of their time trying not to like each other but in the end it’s just

Saving THAT reaction image.

01:34

chasekip:

I went to look at all the pokemon protags together since the new ones got revealed and just

image

…i like Sun 2.0 already

October 04 2017

23:24

flowury:

r u ever just like God i am So Thankful highschool is over forever lol

22:09
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queersanddragons:

magnolia-noire:

themoufofthesouth:

congenitaldisease:

Mikhail Kalashnikov, the man who created the AK-47 assault rifle, wrote a letter in which he professed his guilt and regret over his creation shortly before his death in 2013. He explained that he felt responsible for all of the deaths caused by his creation: “The pain in my soul is unbearable. I keep asking myself the same unsolvable question: If my assault rifle took people’s lives that means that I, Mikhail Kalashnikov, … am responsible for people’s deaths.” He expressed that he wished he would have created a tool to benefit farmers instead.

What kind of extreme lack of foresight

what did he possibly think would hapoen when he designed it?????

Not that I’m a fan of guns or anything, But Kalashnikov designed the AK47 during world war 2. He came up with the gun to be more reliable in combat against the Nazis. 

The quote is specifically about the guns ‘uncontrolled distribution’.  

22:06
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folieascrewyou:

lucastriedpklove:

it takes some deep level of meme knowledge to understand both of these references

22:05

October 03 2017

21:14

flokidog:

jennifer-lawrence-fishburne:

flight-freedom:

lordoftheinternet:

your dog needs meat and your kids need vaccines. end of discussion.

Also your dog needs vaccines and your kids need meat.

Also your meat needs vaccines and your kids need dogs.

what these are all true

20:56
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captain-habit:

Well this sure is…this sure is something. 

It’s absolutely nowhere near finished, but its something. 

Happy Doomsday or something. ☆☆☆

20:48
18:12
0652 d5bd 500

ironperennial:

  1. Helleborus Winter Jewel // Onyx Oddyssey
  2. Helleborus X Hybridus Winter Thrillers // Grape Galaxy
  3. Chocolate Cosmos
  4. Black Calla Lily
  5. Asiatic Lily
  6. Black Velvet Petunia
  7. Karma Choc Dahlia 

Just a few flowers I’d put in the “goth section” of my dream garden, alongside gargoyles. I’d probably throw in some Persian shield for foliage, maybe some other dark coleus. 

August 28 2017

05:56

sumayyahs:

also comparing “lemonade” to “look what you made me do” is so fucked up because taylor is crying abt how she got exposed as a liar and a snake while beyonce wrote about her pain that stems from the abuse black women are subjected to and how she was cheated on like.. dont even go there

05:56
0500 4551 500

firebendxr:

goatwishes:

captoring:

yes

it was the moon the entire time

05:54
0511 1f80 500

rated-r-for-grantaire:

made a Gatsby meme that is literally nothing more than a callout post about myself

01:40
0524 fda4

August 27 2017

23:24
0534 4cb1 500

willowtree-photography:

Weeping willow

22:23
0556 96d4 500

yiffmaster:

top right is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my life If i saw that thing running towards me I’d astrally project on instinct just to get away

20:53

daisenseiben:

sangurex:

c-zechrepublic:

Okay so it seems like people will call any mallet percussion instrument a xylophone and I’m here to teach you shit.

image

This is a xylophone. The wood part is thick and it’s high pitched.

image

This is a marimba. It’s huge and expensive. No like a small one costs over $4,000 (3186.20 euros). The key things are really long and thin.

image

Now do you see this beautiful instrument? This is called the vibraphone motherfuckers. Or just the vibes. Anyways it sounds amazing. I could marry the sound. Basically, it;s made of metal and you have a pedal to stop it from ringing too long.

image

This is the glockenphejksdfjkl. I have no idea how to spell it, so lets just call it the orchestral bells. If you hit this shit too loud it can burst your eardrums. 

image

These are a joke.

I live how angry op is

Sure are a lot of xylophones on this post.

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